Some Thoughts on a Relationship

Aisling: Today’s post features a guest writer. Fiona MacDonald is a friend who specializes in a special type of relationship: that of Domination and submission, or D/s, for short. But I’ll turn it over to her to explain it to you.

Fiona, a Second Life Domme

Hello, everyone. I’m Fiona, but most folks call me Fin. All except for my beloved wife, who generally calls me by my more formal title of Mistress. Mistress, Domme, two words that generally mean the same thing: the Alpha female in a D/s (Domination and submission) relationship.

What it Isn’t

Some people equate D/s with BDSM, or Bondage and Discipline Sado Masochism. I hate to burst your bubble, but they are nowhere near the same. While D/s can contain elements of BDSM, that’s not its main focus.

Instead, at the heart of every D/s relationship lies trust, affection, and mutual respect.

For example, I bind myself to my version of this creed:

A Domme’s Creed

As the Dominant to My submissive I know that she gives herself to Me in mind, body, soul and spirit and does so of her own volition. In Me, she has placed confidence, reliance, faith, hope and dependence.

I will endeavour to ensure My submissive’s needs and desires are learned, and her limits are respected at all times. I understand that the gift of submission is priceless and will cherish it always.

Through My actions I will demonstrate that I am in complete control of Myself, thus allowing Me to impress upon My submissive, the need to relinquish any control she may subconsciously retain in order to facilitate our erotic power exchange.

I accept responsibility for all aspects of My submissive’s life, ensuring that each decision I make in her regard is the best for her body, spirit and soul. Never will I place My submissive in jeopardy, nor will I compromise the trust she has placed in Me. In order to bring My submissive to new heights and understanding, I will work to achieve a vast knowledge of all aspects of the lifestyle, thus allowing Me to be the teacher that she so richly deserves.

I will honor, defend and guard My submissive at all times showing that My love for her will provide a safe harbor in times of adversity.

My Dominant self is rooted both in reality and in fantasy, yet I can easily differentiate the two, never allowing the fantasy world to overtake that of the real world.

In times of distress and hardship, I will shed the role of Dominant and provide for My submissive a supportive partner and confidant.

While often unrelenting and strict, bringing My submissive to tears, I will always kiss away the tears that are shed showing My submissive that while stern, My heart belongs to her.

I vow never to lift a hand to My submissive in anger. When punishment is needed, it shall always be delivered with a tender and discerning hand and for a valid reason. I pledge to My submissive patience and understanding, tolerance and steadfastness, allowing us to grow and nurture the bond we have established so that it may withstand the test of time.

Above all else, I will wear the title of Dominant with great honor.

And my submissive has, in return, bound herself to this:

I Am A Submissive Woman

I find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive to another in a loving relationship. I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what I want out of my life. I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength. I look to my loving Mistress for guidance and protection, for never am I more complete than when She is with me. I know that She will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with Her strength and wisdom.

She is everything to me, as I am everything to Her. Her touch awakens me and Her thoughts free me. Only in serving Her do I find complete freedom and joy. Her punishments are harsh, but I accept them thankfully, knowing that She has my best interests always foremost in Her mind. If She desires my body for pleasure, I shall joyfully give it to Her, and take pleasure myself from knowing that I have brought Her happiness. However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of any relationship. The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship.

My body is Hers, and if She says I am beautiful, then I am. No matter what I look like to others, I am beautiful in Her eyes, and because of that I hold my head high…for who can tell me that my Mistress is wrong in seeing the beauty in me? If She says I am Her princess, then I am that…regal and graceful, and if I see laughter at me in the eyes of others, I do not recognize it, for who are they to call my Mistress wrong? If She says I am Her toy, Her slut, Her tramp, then I am that…as wanton and dirty as She wants me to be, and if others do not see this, then it is they who are blind, not my Mistress.

My mind is Hers, to expand, to explore, to know as only She can. I have no secrets from Her…for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly Her. Secrets would put a wall up between my Mistress and myself…and I do not want walls. Her lessons are not always ones I would seek on my own, but they are lessons She has decided I need, and so I learn from Her. My soul is Her, as bare to Her touch as ever my skin could be when I kneel naked at Her feet. Never a moment goes by when I do not feel Her presence, be She miles away or standing over me.

If I were to ever displease Her, Her displeasure would be a blow to my soul, worse punishment than any physical pain could be. The anguish of my soul that I feel when I disappoint Her is harder to bear than the physical anguish. I spend my days knowing that the energy and thought She puts into our relationship is as much for my benefit as for Hers, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that we do together.

Her part is much harder than mine, and I know this and am grateful that She cares enough about me to spend Her time and energy so freely on me. I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to Her.  I am Her pleasure and Her responsibility, and She takes both seriously.

I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that. My submission is a gift that I do not give lightly, and can only be given to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold. Only to She who has that strength will I give myself fully, because I am strong and proud. I am a submissive woman.


That should give you a fairly good idea of what it’s all about. But remember that these are not hard and fast rules: Just as every other relationship is based on needs, desires, and preferences, so our relationship is tailored to our own needs. In our particular case, I have but one submissive, as it would not be fair to her to divide my time and attention between many pets.

As frequently happens as a result of the intensity of our relationship, true affection and even love can happen between both parties. My submissive—Serena—is also my fiancée. We plan a SL wedding in the near future. Thus we will be bound by ties far more profound than mere D/s.

I look forward to the day when we will add the title wife to each other.

Until then, I am happy to answer and questions you may have about D/s.

Cheers,

More Resources for Merfolk

What I’ve found to be the biggest drawback to finding Mer resources is that there doesn’t seem to be a single, up-to-date listing. Sure, there are links to various personal websites and blogs, but the most recent posts I’ve found were dated May 2018.

But that’s okay: most people run their sites and blogs as a labor of love. They have lives, jobs, and quite often families. So they can’t be expected to make SL their main interest.

The Idle Unemployed

Or rather, “the semi-retired living-alone-with-too-much-time-on-her-hands part-time writer and part-time SL fanatic.” Whom, if you haven’t guessed, is me.

So I’m assigning myself a chore: I’m going to track down as many Mer resources in SK as I can, and check them out to see if they:

  1. Still exist
  2. Are current
  3. Worth your time

I’m going to add a new page to my blog where I’ll list these resources—and I promise I’ll keep all links up-to-date.

I’m hoping this will be a great help to the one or two of you who actually read this blog. And if you find a resource that I haven’t found, please send it to me.

Thanks!

Aisling's Signature" Love, Aisling

Something New: Life Under the Waves

Well, boys and girls, I finally did it! I took my own advice on how to become a mermaid, and did just that! So rather than mere theory, I’m going to give you a step-by-step account of how I did it.

First Stop

My first stop was, of course, the Safe Waters Foundation. There, I grabbed a free diving suit and headed on over to the freebies pool.

SWF-Freebies.png

This is an excellent place for finding many of your start-up items as you begin your transformation to your undersea life. I would strongly urge you to check out the high-quality items donated by some of SL’s finest designers.

Next Stop

Next, I swam on over to Haven of Mermaids. You’d have to look long and hard to find a better “one-stop-shopping” mall for your merfolk needs. Billed as “Home and Haven for the Merfolk of Second Life.  A magical underwater world, with a community that welcomes Merfolk of all the tribes, and aquatic beings of all species.  Home to Deep Seas Mer Outfitters.” It’s a great place to start expanding on your basic freebie skins & tails.

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Haven-2.png

Finally, I was ready to get serious about just how I wanted to present myself to the various Mer communities. And that meant SHOPPING!

Oh, I did I forget to mention one of the best things about becoming a mermaid? It gives you an excuse to do some serious shopping. Even if you’re content with freebies, obtaining them in the first place means shopping!

A Word About Mesh

Mesh avatars—and therefore, mesh accessories for them—are difficult and time-consuming to make…which explains why everything relating to mesh is expensive. The same is true of mesh mermaid avatars and accessories. So for that reason alone I recommend that you use a classic avatar as your mermaid or merman representation.

And while you can find lots of quality classic avatars, my own choice was for the Mermaid Collection Mesh Emotion Blue, which set me back the whopping cost of one single $Linden ($L1). This set contains a classic avatar which has been specifically designed to fit most mermaid outfits.

emotion-blue.png

Back to Haven of Mermaids

This was my most expensive stop. But when you’re designing your appearance, do you really want to skimp on the details? Neither do I!

So I bought two items: DS (Deep Seas) Green Mermaid Skin, and Deep Seas Traditional Tail, also in green.

The traditional tails come with a Deep Seas Merfolk Animation Overrider (AO), which, while a basic AO, contains all the animations you need to get you started. Best of all, you can edit the AO to include whatever additional animations you like.

And the results speak for themselves

mer-1.png

Of course, this is the way I dress when I visit areas that frown upon nudity. The next photo is probably NSFW, but here’s the deal: I’m a mermaid—I have no need of clothes. Besides, if men—mermen or otherwise—can display their bare chests, why not women, too? After all, I live in a State (New York) where courts have ruled it’s perfectly legal.

So before we go any further, chase the kiddies away from your computer.

Ready? Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Topless-Mer.png

This is me in my Sunday finest—well, actually—my week-long finest!

Other Times, Other Places

Read about all things mermaid at: http://cynthiamermaid.blogspot.com/

Please visit our web page at: http://www.goldmermaid.com/SWF/index.htm
Please visit our blog at: http://www.digitalmermaids.blogspot.com

Great site for SL help (and features SWF!!) http://virtualoutworlding.blogspot.com/2014/06/2014-people-promo-fancis-deep-serving.html

And that’s it for today! Next: further resources for your undersea life.

Aisling's Signature" Love, Aisling

Merfolk (Mermaids and Mermen)

Or, Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Being a Mermaid or Merman Before You Even Knew You Wanted to Know It

Remember when I told you that in SL, you can be anything you want to be? Ever imagine living a life under the sea? Be honest—wasn’t that every little girl’s dream? Well, now you can become one for only $10 Lindens. Or, if you prefer, absolutely free.

Safe Waters Foundation

Head on over to the Safe Waters Foundation Headquarters (SWF). When you get there, turn around to see this:

SWF-1.png

The arrows won’t be there; I added them for clarity. The shorter one points to the SWF group joiner. There is no cost to join.

The longer arrow points to the door you need to pass through to get to the goodies:

SWF-2.png

Again, I added the arrows for clarity. They point to the Pearl, which you have to touch to receive the free outfit.

Unfortunately, if you’re using a mesh avatar like mine, it’s not that easy. All of these options are designed for classic (non-mesh) avatars (avis). And because mesh avis are complex and expensive, it follows that mesh accessories for mesh avis are also expensive.

Fear Not!

mer 1

The item shown above can be found on the SL Marketplace for only $L1! It comes with a standard body that you can use to replace your mesh body, so everything will work peachy-keen!

mer-2.png

This is my friend Jenny in that very same outfit.

Safe Waters Foundation Redux

You can find out more about the Safe Waters Foundation at its website, which also contains an events calendar as well as a long list of mer-related sites in Second Life.

Or you can check out their Digital Mermaids blog on Blogspot. The blog also has minutes of the most recent weekly meeting.

Now if you will excuse me, I have an octopus’s garden to explore!

Aisling's Signature" Love, Aisling

Just a Quickie…

Not, silly—not that kind! A new accessory from Alli&Ali Designs Mainstore.

It’s the Cherry Blossom Hair Accessory, and you can pick one up right now for $L99. It has an extremely low display weight, and is designed to be worn with just about any A&A hair.

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I’m wearing mine with the Dolly hairstyle, and I love it!

Cherry Blossom Hair Accessory, available now at Alli&Ali Designs Mainstore.

Grab yours today!

Aisling's Signature" Love, Aisling

Drafts, Continued

Yesterday I told you about Drafts, a new note-taking app for MacOS and iOS. Today I’m going to talk some more about its capabilities and limitations.

I mentioned how convoluted it was to get something posted in Drafts into a blog post. But the app has something called Actions, which is essentially a way for you to program new things for the program to do. So I’m hoping that I’ll be able to figure out how to export from Drafts directly into Open Live Writer, where I create all of my blog entries.

Or better yet, since I haven’t done any programming since the mid-1980s, I’m going to see if someone has already created an action or something similar to it. I’ll do this by logging into the Drafts Community Forum and poking around there.

Workspaces

Yesterday, I discovered tags and workspaces. Much like Categories and Tags in WordPress, tags are a way to categorize your writings by subject. Workspaces allows you to create virtual folders which can be used to file your writings by tags. That makes it easier to find a particular document.

Drafts.png

Here, I’ve gathered all of the drafts with the tag lgbt into one workplace/folder. If I want to see all of my notes, I just have to click on the Show all tab at the bottom of the screen.

And that’s it for Drafts

It’s a simple enough app, but it’s also quite powerful, and it’s going to take me more time to figure it all out.

Until then,

Aisling's Signature" Love, Aisling

Drafts: The App

As a writer, I’m always looking out for The Next Great Tool. And while I’ve pretty much settled on Ulysses for novels and short stories, I’m still not completely satisfied with what’s available for blogging on mobile platforms (I’m looking at you, iPhone and iPad).

On my Windows laptop, Open Live Writer is my program of choice. Unfortunately, it’s not available for mobile devices–they’re just not powerful enough.

This morning I started reading someone’s blog post about a program called Drafts. It looked interesting, so I decided to take it for a spin, which was easy enough to do since there is a free version as well as a paid version.

So I installed it on my iPhone. In fact, I’m writing this entry using it. I already have several writing apps on this phone, so why do I keep looking for more?

It’s quite simple, really: I wasn’t all that smart when I bought my smartphone. I went with the one that had the least amount of memory: 16Gb. Which means I’m constantly searching for more efficient apps so that I can use the fewest number of them as possible.

And yes, I learned my lesson: my new iPad has 128Gb of memory.

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Formatting text in Drafts is quite simple; it uses Markdown language which is accessed via the on-screen Markdown toolbar. It’s the same language Ulysses uses, which is pretty cool considering that I can export my writing right into Ulysses.

So today will be a day of research. I’m going to install Drafts onto my iPad, and put it through its paces. My goal is to see what, if any, apps it can replace. I’m also going to see how far I can go with the free version, which will help me decide if I really need to spend money for the Pro version.


I just installed Drafts onto my iPad and it immediately synced to the cloud and retrieved this post. So far, so good! That means that although I’m still going to use GoodNotes on the iPad, I don’t need to keep it on the iPhone, thus freeing up space for those all-too-crucial pictures of cats.


I also managed to export this post to Evernote, then copy/paste it into Open Live Writer, my editor of choice on my laptop. It’s really beginning to look as if Drafts Is here to stay! I’ve already replaced Apple’s Notes app on both of my mobile devices, and between Drafts and Ulysses, I no longer have any need for 53’s Paper or Apple’s Pages.

Tomorrow I’ll take a look at a few more of Draft’s operating details.