Time Zones and Relationships in Second Life

You know what really sucks? Meeting someone in SL and finding a kindred soul, only to discover that they’re in Australia while you’re on the East Coast of the United States. Not that there’s anything wrong with Aussies—it’s just that it’s awfully hard to maintain a friendship, much less a relationship, because of the time difference.

I had something similar happen to me recently. I made several new friends, but I haven’t seen any of them since then. And that, my friends, is why I urge you to put a note in your profile. In my 1st Life tab, it simply says  EST (SLT +3). EST is Eastern Standard Time, and SLT +3  means that I’m 3 hours ahead of Second Life Time (which is either Pacific Standard or Pacific Daylight Time, depending on the time of year). As Linden Labs are located in California, that’s the default time for the entire SL world.

Some Notes On Your Profile

Your profile is there for a reason. It lets people know a little bit about you. It doesn’t have to be detailed, but at least put something in there! I generally make it a practice to ignore people with empty profiles—especially when they’ve been in SL longer than 6 months.

I’ve even seen empty profiles for people who have been in SL for 7 or 8 years! What that tells me is you’re boring or perhaps too secretive for me to waste any time on you.

As an example, here’s my profile:

It’s pronounced “ash-LEEN.” Yes, it’s Irish. Yes I am…if you go back 4 or 5 generations. And before that, we wuz Scouses.

Harbour Grace, Newfoundland is the ancestral home. See my Picks for more about me.

I am ceann cine (clan chief) of Clan Aisling O’Connor. It’s pronounced “kian kineh.”

And under my Picks:

I’m kinda shy around new people, but I’m happy to join any conversation to which I’m invited. I always answer IMs…so long as they’re not of the “Hi, baby! Wanna fuck?” variety. R and U are letters, not words.

I appreciate people who can form complete sentences and who use proper grammar. What can I say? I’m an English professor in real life.

Those words are accompanied by this picture:

 

And that’s me in a nutshell. But my profile is a living document: I keep it updated to reflect where I am in SL, in relation to friendships, servitude, relationships, and the like.

Don’t be boring! And if you’re too shy to put anything in your profile, you might want to ask yourself just what the hell you’re in SL for in the first place.

As Promised…a Few NSFW Places

With the exception of the first listing, these are locations you don’t necessarily want the kids in the room to see them. They’re adult locations, but that doesn’t always mean they’re all about sex.

Safe:

LC’s World of Fashion – LC Photostudio.  It lists itself this way: streetwear gown dress formal shoe maternita boots free lingerie jewerly store foto latex leather mesh embarazo gravidez maternity pregnacy wedding applier Hair photo studio public Slink Belleza Maitreya free discount offers

And yes, there is indeed a free photo studio, where I took this selfie:


Not So Safe:

Sexy Nude Beach – The Original.  THE Beach in SL to meet others for chat, romance and flirt. Dance, windsurf, paraglide, boat drive or enjoy areas for private moments. nudity nude nudist beach love cuddle club palm plant tree hut pool furniture campfire outdoor beach nude beach tiki

ATWF – Among The WildFlowers.  ATWF – Among The WildFlowers – LOST COVE is an adult community sim – partly public with private spots for rentals. It also has a public nude beach.

Lesbian Island.  Naughty lesbian island,club for Ladies -dj party,lounge nude beach.Fitness Club Yoga Gym workout Massage Spa Sauna Bath beach surf toilet naturist surfing theater cinema porn bowling game lesbian club lesbica lesbiana, bdsm club sub miss pet fetish

Lesbian Island 2 Girls Jus Wanna Have Fun!!!   Awesome place for girls to gather together, make friends meet new ones, and relax and enjoy the company :)) if you need a nice place to chill or dance.

And finally, Mama Allpa Mainstore – *the* mating HUD system in SL.  The ultimate pregnancy experience. Yes, you can get pregnant and give birth in SL.

Safe Holidays!

That’s it for this week. Like a lot of you, I’ll be in a turkey coma for the next few days. I hope you all have a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving Day, and don’t stuff yourselves (well, not too much, anyway!)

See you next week.

It’s Not Always About Hair (redux)

I know. Big surprise, right? After all, SL isn’t limited to buying hair. In your search for a unique appearance, en route to becoming you, you need a lot more than hair!

There’s skins, for example. And a great place to find one is at Lara Hurley Skin, in Magic Valley. Besides a huge variety of skins, there’s also a fairly large selection of quality free skins.

NCI Kuula (New Citizens Incorporated – Help/Classes/Freebies) also offers tons of freebies, including a huge selection of eyes of various colors. Clothes, skins, shapes, hair—if you need it, they’ve got it!

New to SL? Need to learn things quickly? Then either NCI Kuula or Caledon Oxbridge Gateway is for you. In fact, I’ll be there later today to take a class in scripting. Maybe I’ll see you there!

And after all that hard studying, I’m going to head on over to The Blarney Stone, an authentic Irish pub, and toss back a few Guinness’s or Harps. After all, woman shall not live by bread alone!

Are you female? Want a great place to hang out with other women? Then look no further than Girltown at Sansara Annex. It’s an extremely safe place to make your home, since men are not only forbidden, but are actually automagically ejected if they do show up.

These are just a few of the places I like to visit. In my next post, I’ll give you links to a few NSFW places.

Until then,

Details on my JR Wolf outfit

I know I teased you with my previous post. But I’m not sorry. Is that so bad of me? Well, don’t expect an apologize. As a famous sailor once said, “I yam what I yam.”

Anyway, this is my latest outfit from JR Wolf Designs:

 

Actually, it’s elements from three separate outfits:

  • Bandana Top Plain (also available as a Biker top)
  • Amaris Heels, available as a group gift
  • Morrigan Lace Up Skirt, which was a Lucky Chair prize

The Bandana Top and Biker Tops are available exclusively at The Darkness Monthly Event, and sell for $L100 each.

Other Locations

You can also find JR Wolf Fashions at these other locations:

Store SLURL: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Bao/35/191/21

Marketplace Store: https://marketplace.secondlife.com/stores/151230

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/534012976675728/

New Flickr Group: https://www.flickr.com/groups/jrwolfcreations/

Hey! If these fashions are enough to make a Goth Girl out of a femme like me, imagine what they can do for you!

Aisling's Signature" Love, Aisling

 

A Radical New Look for Yours Truly

I’ve been accepted as a blogger for JR Wolf Designs, which specializes in all things goth. And while they didn’t require me to change my looks, I decided I needed to adopt an appearance more in line with their fashions.

So this is how I’ll look for the foreseeable future.

As to my outfit, I’ll be reporting on it in depth in my next post. I just wanted to bring you up to date.

JB Wolf Logo
The New Me
Aisling's Signature" Love, Aisling

Some Thoughts on a Relationship

Aisling: Today’s post features a guest writer. Fiona MacDonald is a friend who specializes in a special type of relationship: that of Domination and submission, or D/s, for short. But I’ll turn it over to her to explain it to you.

Fiona, a Second Life Domme

Hello, everyone. I’m Fiona, but most folks call me Fin. All except for my beloved wife, who generally calls me by my more formal title of Mistress. Mistress, Domme, two words that generally mean the same thing: the Alpha female in a D/s (Domination and submission) relationship.

What it Isn’t

Some people equate D/s with BDSM, or Bondage and Discipline Sado Masochism. I hate to burst your bubble, but they are nowhere near the same. While D/s can contain elements of BDSM, that’s not its main focus.

Instead, at the heart of every D/s relationship lies trust, affection, and mutual respect.

For example, I bind myself to my version of this creed:

A Domme’s Creed

As the Dominant to My submissive I know that she gives herself to Me in mind, body, soul and spirit and does so of her own volition. In Me, she has placed confidence, reliance, faith, hope and dependence.

I will endeavour to ensure My submissive’s needs and desires are learned, and her limits are respected at all times. I understand that the gift of submission is priceless and will cherish it always.

Through My actions I will demonstrate that I am in complete control of Myself, thus allowing Me to impress upon My submissive, the need to relinquish any control she may subconsciously retain in order to facilitate our erotic power exchange.

I accept responsibility for all aspects of My submissive’s life, ensuring that each decision I make in her regard is the best for her body, spirit and soul. Never will I place My submissive in jeopardy, nor will I compromise the trust she has placed in Me. In order to bring My submissive to new heights and understanding, I will work to achieve a vast knowledge of all aspects of the lifestyle, thus allowing Me to be the teacher that she so richly deserves.

I will honor, defend and guard My submissive at all times showing that My love for her will provide a safe harbor in times of adversity.

My Dominant self is rooted both in reality and in fantasy, yet I can easily differentiate the two, never allowing the fantasy world to overtake that of the real world.

In times of distress and hardship, I will shed the role of Dominant and provide for My submissive a supportive partner and confidant.

While often unrelenting and strict, bringing My submissive to tears, I will always kiss away the tears that are shed showing My submissive that while stern, My heart belongs to her.

I vow never to lift a hand to My submissive in anger. When punishment is needed, it shall always be delivered with a tender and discerning hand and for a valid reason. I pledge to My submissive patience and understanding, tolerance and steadfastness, allowing us to grow and nurture the bond we have established so that it may withstand the test of time.

Above all else, I will wear the title of Dominant with great honor.

And my submissive has, in return, bound herself to this:

I Am A Submissive Woman

I find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive to another in a loving relationship. I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what I want out of my life. I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength. I look to my loving Mistress for guidance and protection, for never am I more complete than when She is with me. I know that She will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with Her strength and wisdom.

She is everything to me, as I am everything to Her. Her touch awakens me and Her thoughts free me. Only in serving Her do I find complete freedom and joy. Her punishments are harsh, but I accept them thankfully, knowing that She has my best interests always foremost in Her mind. If She desires my body for pleasure, I shall joyfully give it to Her, and take pleasure myself from knowing that I have brought Her happiness. However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of any relationship. The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship.

My body is Hers, and if She says I am beautiful, then I am. No matter what I look like to others, I am beautiful in Her eyes, and because of that I hold my head high…for who can tell me that my Mistress is wrong in seeing the beauty in me? If She says I am Her princess, then I am that…regal and graceful, and if I see laughter at me in the eyes of others, I do not recognize it, for who are they to call my Mistress wrong? If She says I am Her toy, Her slut, Her tramp, then I am that…as wanton and dirty as She wants me to be, and if others do not see this, then it is they who are blind, not my Mistress.

My mind is Hers, to expand, to explore, to know as only She can. I have no secrets from Her…for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly Her. Secrets would put a wall up between my Mistress and myself…and I do not want walls. Her lessons are not always ones I would seek on my own, but they are lessons She has decided I need, and so I learn from Her. My soul is Her, as bare to Her touch as ever my skin could be when I kneel naked at Her feet. Never a moment goes by when I do not feel Her presence, be She miles away or standing over me.

If I were to ever displease Her, Her displeasure would be a blow to my soul, worse punishment than any physical pain could be. The anguish of my soul that I feel when I disappoint Her is harder to bear than the physical anguish. I spend my days knowing that the energy and thought She puts into our relationship is as much for my benefit as for Hers, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that we do together.

Her part is much harder than mine, and I know this and am grateful that She cares enough about me to spend Her time and energy so freely on me. I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to Her.  I am Her pleasure and Her responsibility, and She takes both seriously.

I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that. My submission is a gift that I do not give lightly, and can only be given to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold. Only to She who has that strength will I give myself fully, because I am strong and proud. I am a submissive woman.


That should give you a fairly good idea of what it’s all about. But remember that these are not hard and fast rules: Just as every other relationship is based on needs, desires, and preferences, so our relationship is tailored to our own needs. In our particular case, I have but one submissive, as it would not be fair to her to divide my time and attention between many pets.

As frequently happens as a result of the intensity of our relationship, true affection and even love can happen between both parties. My submissive—Serena—is also my fiancée. We plan a SL wedding in the near future. Thus we will be bound by ties far more profound than mere D/s.

I look forward to the day when we will add the title wife to each other.

Until then, I am happy to answer and questions you may have about D/s.

Cheers,

More Resources for Merfolk

What I’ve found to be the biggest drawback to finding Mer resources is that there doesn’t seem to be a single, up-to-date listing. Sure, there are links to various personal websites and blogs, but the most recent posts I’ve found were dated May 2018.

But that’s okay: most people run their sites and blogs as a labor of love. They have lives, jobs, and quite often families. So they can’t be expected to make SL their main interest.

The Idle Unemployed

Or rather, “the semi-retired living-alone-with-too-much-time-on-her-hands part-time writer and part-time SL fanatic.” Whom, if you haven’t guessed, is me.

So I’m assigning myself a chore: I’m going to track down as many Mer resources in SK as I can, and check them out to see if they:

  1. Still exist
  2. Are current
  3. Worth your time

I’m going to add a new page to my blog where I’ll list these resources—and I promise I’ll keep all links up-to-date.

I’m hoping this will be a great help to the one or two of you who actually read this blog. And if you find a resource that I haven’t found, please send it to me.

Thanks!

Aisling's Signature" Love, Aisling